Clueless (UPDATED)
by Dark Rubi-chan
Summary: This is an utterly stupid story, two rivals fight for the love and attention of another. Beware of chibis, stupid dream sequences and absolute silliness. This story contains a heavy amount of shounen ai. Don’t like, don’t read.
1. Default Chapter

Warnings and Disclaimer: Digimon not ours, don't sue, not nice and no money to get

Warnings and Disclaimer: Digimon and Weiss Kreuz…not ours, don't sue, not nice and no money to get. There be shounen ai in here if you be narrowed minded and think we be goin' to hell for writin' this then…we been there already and we be liking it! Flame and we won't care, we just laugh at you!

Notes: No old ladies and/or toys were hurt during the making of this story…Farfello…That's another story. Also, to those who don't know, genki means happy, energized, hyper, or healthy. Ever seen Monster Ranchers? Remember the main character Genki? Now, you know the meaning of his name. 

Clueless

It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, and two boys were fighting. Over what? Well…that's what the story is about, so just pay attention! 

The five new Chosen Children were at the entrance of the carnival. They were waiting for the last member and since it had been six years since the end of the great evil, which we writers don't know how to spell his name and will be left unsaid, died they didn't have to worry about evil attacking them. But that's beside the point, in this carnival the little group was going to have a nice, fun time in the nice, warm sun. To bad it didn't turn out that way.

The Chosen Children watched with huge sweatdrops as the two boys yelled at each other. The only thing keeping Ichijouji Ken and Takaishi Takeru from maiming each other was Yagami Hikari and Inoue Miyako. Each girl had arms around one of the boy's waists and were trying to hold them back which was really hard since the boys weren't cooperating and struggling to get loose. 

"Will you two stop acting like a couple of retards!" Miyako yelled her grip around Ken's waist was getting weaker. 

"Yeah! Miyako's right, this is silly!" Hikari yelled. 

This went on for a while; Miyako and Hikari yelling at the two boys and telling them to stop while they tried to get free and maim the other. And oh, how the girls tried to keep the two boys apart but alas, it wasn't to be for they got free and ran towards each other fist raised and war cries ringing through the air. That is until…

"Hey guys, sorry I'm late!" Daisuke called out running towards them. He was clad in abnormally, large, blue jeans, a black T-shirt with a headless skater on it and a black choker around his neck, which adorned large, silver spikes. His goggles were perched on his spiky hair with an air freshener, in the shape of a pine tree hanging off them. When asked why he hangs an air freshener on his goggles he replies "'cause it smells nice."

Now if one had been watching Ken and Takeru at that moment, one would have noticed something really amusing. As both boys ran towards each other with no sign of stopping until one was dead. They did the unthinkable and well…stopped. Yes, at the sound of Daisuke's voice the two boys froze like some one had done that weird freeze frame thing that happens on the Matrix to them. 

"Hi Daisuke!" Takeru and Ken chorused, then they turned and glared at each other. 

"Hey, guys what's wrong?" He asked looking at the glaring boys.

_God, he's clueless_. Miyako thought shaking her head. "Nothing Daisuke. Nothing." 

"Well, what are we standing here for? Let's go inside!" Daisuke cried running inside. 

Takeru and Ken sighed and smiled brightly as they floated inside the carnival after Daisuke like two lovestruck puppies. You could actually see little hearts floating around them. 

They entered the carnival and like all carnivals or places you go to forget about your sorry lives for a day, it was packed full of smelly, sticky people. Cheesy carnival music and the sounds of loud children blended together to make a new remix of almost intolerable noise. 

Daisuke ran through the crowds of people calling out to his friends to hurry up. The little bundle of energy ran to the clearest place he could find (which wasn't all that clear) and waited for the others to arrive. When they did, they were panting form the excretion of weaving through people. 

"Ew, I got sweat on me." Miyako said wiping the visible line of sweat of her arm. 

"So, where do we go first?" Hikari asked looking around. And before anyone could say anything…

"Roller coaster!!!!" Daisuke yelled out, jumping up and down like a five-year-old. "Roller coaster! Roller coaster! Roller coaster!!!" 

"We heard you the first time, Daisuke." Iori sighed shaking his head. Daisuke stopped and made a very cute and very confused face. Ken and Takeru sighed at this face. The other three rolled their eyes. 

"Please!!!!" Daisuke pleaded.

"Fine. Fine. Which one?" Iori asked. Miyako snickered making a comment about Iori acting like Daisuke's mother. Iori glared at her. 

"That one." Daisuke said pointing at the roller coaster that rose one hundred and fifty feet in the air and twisted and turned in ways that most would deem life threatening. It was also adorned with three gigantic hoops in its center. 

"Are you sure?" Daisuke nodded vigorously. "I don't know Daisuke. Looks kind of dangerous."

"I think we should go." Takeru replied.

"Yeah! Let's go!!!" Daisuke cried grabbing Takeru's hand and guiding him to the line. Ken glared after the two, grumbling to himself. The rest sweatdropped as they followed them. 

At that moment, a chibi Yamato in a little bunny suit, walked up next to Ken and placed his briefcase down on the floor. He pressed a button and a small blackboard popped out. The black board had a line going down its middle and one side was labeled Takeru while the other Ken. Yamato took out a piece of chalk and made one tally mark under Takeru. 

"Score. One Takeru. Ken zero." Said Yamato. Ken glared down at the chibi with the intensity of two fat men fighting over the last piece of steak. Yamato smiled and walked away. 

After the chibi Yamato left a chibi Taichi dressed as a fox came by and sniffed the air. He grinned like an old hentai and mumbled something about the smell of bunny in the air and went the same direction that Yamato had. Ken sweatdropped. 

When the group arrived at the roller coaster there was a line. Not just any line, but a line so long and so curved, that it seemed to stretch on to the horizon and beyond. A line that rivaled the lines at Six Flags Great Adventure during mid-day to get on the Viper™. 

Though this did not deter Motomiya Daisuke. This was a mission for him. He had to get on this roller coaster. So concentrated was he on this, that he did not notice the two boys standing next to him glaring at each other and making sure that the other didn't get to close to him. 

And so the wait to get on began. It was a long and boring wait. Miyako and Iori, to entertain themselves, pulled out three crates, a wooden board and dominos. They sat down and began to play. Hikari began to play with her spit making different animal shapes. Takeru and Ken continued to glare at each other as they plotted on how to out stage the other and get with Daisuke. And Daisuke well…

"I am sooo bored!" He said looking on at the line that seemed to go on forever, though Ken had done a quick calculation and determined that they were halfway through. 

When they seemed near the entrance, Daisuke was so bored that he started making faces to entertain himself. 

"He's so cute." Ken said sighing. Mind you Daisuke had rolled his eyes to the back of his head and pulled down the bottom of his eyelids, while stretching his mouth so that all you could see was his gums and teeth. Takeru paled. 

"Stop that, Daisuke." Takeru said, "You're making me sick." 

Daisuke stopped. "Well, someone has to ruin all the fun sheesh!" He said turning towards Ken and continuing to make odd faces, which bothered Ken in the least. 

Once more the chibi Yamato walked by, stopping next to Takeru. He pressed the button on his briefcase, releasing the blackboard. He took out an eraser and chalk, erasing Takeru's point and giving Ken one. 

"Niichan!" Takeru whined looking down at the Chibi Bunny Yamato. Yamato shrugged then put his stuff away and left. Takeru grumbled and looked up to see Ken grinning at him and sticking out his tongue in random intervals. Takeru flipped him off.

_Laugh now, Ichijouji! _Takeru grinned evilly, _For soon I will get that point back and many more! And with more points then you, I will be the winner and thus win Daisuke's love for me!! I will be the winner and you will be the loser!! And I will have Daisuke as proof of my greatness!!! _

At that moment came the Chibi Fox Taichi once more sniffing the air. He looked around. 

"I'm getting closer to my prey." He mumbled and ran off. Takeru sweatdropped. 

"Look, we made it!" Daisuke cried when they reached the front of the line. 

"Whoo hoo." Miyako said unenthusiastically. Iori put the card table away. Where, exactly, away is…we don't know.

The group was ushered up to the car. "I wanna go in the front!! I wanna go in the front!!" Daisuke chanted. 

"Don't look at me." Iori said turning away and placing himself in the car behind Miyako and Hikari. 

Takeru and Ken tried to glare each other down as Daisuke placed himself in the first car.

"I'm going in the front." Ken said

"I'm going in the front." Takeru replied.

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

Monotonous, isn't it? 

"No."

"Yes."

"C'mon, let's go!" Daisuke said jumping out and grabbing the closest of the two, which happened to be Ken. Takeru cursed and flipped Ken off as Ken stuck his tongue out at him. 

Takeru plopped down next to Iori with a frown that would put Zangief to shame(dude wow! His lips made a rectangle! That was a mean scowl!) . Iori snickered to himself as they were locked in.

"This is going to be _so_ fun!" Daisuke said as there came buzzing sounded. The train cars climbed up and up and up and up and up…and up and so on and so forth. 

_This is not so bad_. Ken thought as the train cars stopped at the top, _Pretty nice view, too_. 

Suddenly the cars released steam and then…WHOOSH!

"Cooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool!!!" Daisuke yelled as they skyrocketed back down to the earth, his eyes were wide open.

Ken was completely pale (more so then usual). His mouth was open but no sound came out. His voice box was apparently with his stomach at the top of the hill.

_I'm going to die. I'm going to die_. Ken chanted in his mind as the cars were flipped backwards. He could vaguely hear Daisuke scream out how kick ass this was. 

After they went through most of the loops, twists, turns and whatever else was on the roller coasters, the cars stopped.

_Yes, it's finally over_. Ken thought, sighing in relief. Suddenly he heard the buzzing of the bell. _NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!_ Ken thought as the cars zoomed backwards, through everything. 

When the ride finished, Daisuke bounced out of the car to find Takeru and the others waiting for him and Ken to get off, since they had ended up in the last car when they went backwards they were the last to get released from the harness. 

"That was _so_ kick ass!" Daisuke said. Takeru nodded. 

"When the other cars looked like it was going to hit us!" Takeru agreed.

"And, and the loops!" 

"Oh! The loops were _so_ cool!" 

The two continued to babble about the ride as Ken shakily climbed out of the car. His face was pale and his hair was puffy. He was trying to learn how to walk again but he lost balance fell forward. The thing was that Takeru could have caught him but he sidestepped and let Ken kiss the floor. Everyone looked down at the blue haired boy. 

"Ken." Daisuke said kneeling on one knee. "You shouldn't lay on the floor, there are germs." 

"Ugh." Was Ken's only reply. Daisuke grabbed him and lifted him up, then looked at him. 

"Man Ken, you don't look too good. You look paler then usual." Daisuke said. "You okay?" There came a weak nodded. 

"The ride did it to him, the wussy." Takeru said grinning at Ken. Ken glared weakly. 

"It did?" Daisuke asked voice full of concern. Ken nodded at him. He could feel his spirits rise at the thought of Daisuke caring about his well being. Daisuke looked thoughtful for a moment then he smiled. "I know! We'll go again until you get use to it!" He took hold of Ken's hand and dragged the other boy towards the ride again, where there was magically no line to wait on. 

"No Daisuke! That's okay!" Ken said trying to pry his hand free but find himself to weak, from the ride, to do much. He could hear Takeru laughing at him from behind. 

"I should be angry that Ken's with Daisuke at the moment, shouldn't I?" He said laughing. Everyone rolled their eyes. 

After a few more rides on the roller coaster, where Ken promptly lost his breakfast, Daisuke decided to visit the booths. The booths were a place of magic and adventure, with clowns and weirdoes eating fire, while vendors pestered you to come and buy their balloons and tooth-rooting confections. And while the vendors sold their goods to poor unsuspecting parents, the children ran around hyper and uncontrollable because of the before mentioned candy. They would run around screaming at the top of their lungs for their poor parents to let them play games and win cheep toys, until the parents had gone through most of their lives saving for these toys, which the children would most likely, never play with again. 

But that's not what's important, what _is_ important is that the Chosen Children, whom were now wandering through this new land of chaos. 

Daisuke, being the resident five-year-old of the group, was running around like a kid who only had sugar running through his veins. Every few minutes he would turn to the lagging group and yell out an occasional "This is sooo cool!" or "Hey, guys look at this!" And other things of that sort. 

"Doesn't he have an off switch." Miyako groaned. 

"Broken." Iori replied. "And the switch to change modes broke on hyper." This brought another groan from the lavender haired girl and made Hikari, who was actually quite amused by the who situation, giggle. 

Hikari was very amused, as stated before. Why, you might ask. Well, she found Takeru and Ken's predicament very funny. She secretly laughed at them, and when they weren't looking she'd even laugh and point. Yes, Hikari is a _very_ evil girl. 

Speaking of which, Ken and Takeru were once more fighting. It's was like they had nothing better to do then glare at each other and threaten the other with bodily harm. And since that gets boring, let's go back to Daisuke. 

"Irasshai! Irasshai!!" shouted a tall, slightly genki, orange haired man, at the top of his lungs, causing people to look up and pay attention. 

Apparently his voice reached Daisuke and Daisuke immediately ran over to him like a child about to receive a Christmas present from his favorite uncle. The man with the long, somewhat disheveled, orange hair looked down at him with the sleaziest grin and spoke in the thick German accent.

"Guten Tag!" He said bowing a bit. Daisuke smiled though his eyes were blank, from lack understanding. 

"Whatever…" he said, "What's the booth? How do play? What do a win?"

At that moment a boy with short brown hair and blue eyes walked over to the orange-head. His blue eyes glared up at the German through face make up, but unfortunately the glare didn't do much because of the large red smile painted on his face and the huge, plastic nose. 

"Schulderich, why do we have to do this again?" The boy asked folding his arms over his poke dot covered chest. The one name Schulderich grinned. 

"Since Takatori died the Schwarz's funds have gone to shit, that's why?" Schulderich replied looking slightly annoyed. Nagi grumbled something and began to turn. 

"Oh and, Farfello's trying to teach kids the joys of slicing again." Nagi said walking away. 

Schulderich sighed and turned back to Daisuke, who was talking to a strangely pale man with shaggy, short white hair and an eye patch. 

"Now, if you cut your arm in a diagonal sweep going from up to down." He was saying. "Then push the knife-point into the open flesh and lift the skin, you can make a really cool squishy noise that hurts God." 

"Yeah!" Daisuke said, "And if you stick a tube into your nose, you can pull it out from your mouth!!" 

The white haired man gave him an odd look. Then wondered if he could do that with his knife. And began to try.

"Dude!!" Daisuke cried out. "Cool!!" He watched like he was in a trance as Farfello placed the tip of the knife, holding the blade with his other hand. Then placing the palm of his hand to the bottom of the handle and began to push forward. 

"I don't think it's going to work, man." Daisuke said after a few seconds. "Try at a different angle" Schulderich sweatdropped. 

"Farfie!" Schulderich cried grabbing the knife from the white haired man. "Remember we have a booth to run." Farfello's eyes drooped like a sad child that just got his plaything taken from him. "You can hurt God later." Farfello's eyes immediately rose and a big grin came to his face. He went back behind the booth. 

Anyway….

"Weird." Daisuke said looking at the toys at the booth. By then the other Chosen Children had arrived. The teens looked towards the booth that Daisuke was looking at and paled.

"This is messed up." Said Takeru. The others nodded in agreement. 

There were many different toys, which all seemed to have been defiled in some way or another. There were teddy bears of all shades, sizes and color. Some had an eye or both missing, while others had more then two eyes embedded into their heads. Some were missing ears, others had sharp objects embedded into certain body parts. There were also dolls, their pretty faces scared. Knives were in their large blue or brown eyes, their curled hairs ripped and shoved into their now open mouths. Some had been missing fingers and those same fingers had been feed to other dolls, unless they had hair in their mouths. The other toys consisted of small trinkets. Tiny bloodied knives or various other torture devices that had been miniaturize so that they could be hung from one's key chains. 

"I think I'm going to be sick." Miyako said placing her hand over her mouth. Iori stepped away from her just in case she decided to blow chunks, it wouldn't be on him. 

"Why don't we go to another booth." Hikari said eyeing Miyako wearily. The others nodded. 

"C'mon, Daisuke." Takeru said walking over to grab his arm. Ken glared at him and was about to stop Takeru when Daisuke spoke up. 

"Ohh." Daisuke said, quite innocently and unaware of what had been going on behind him, for he had been to busy looking at the various toys. "That's a cool toy." 

Takeru and Ken looked up immediately and followed Daisuke's finger. He was pointing at a large bear, with a katana plunged into its' chest and it's eyes popping from its' sockets. Its' mouth had been forced open, and was being kept open by the head of a doll which some how had been made to look scared. 

Takeru and Ken looked at the bear, then at Daisuke who was now looking at the trinkets, then back at the bear. They then moved forwards at the same time and said in one voice: 

"I wanna play the game!" They turned and glared at each other. 

"_I_ am going to play." Ken said though clenched teeth.

"No, _I'm_ going to play." Takeru replied glaring harder.

"Easy. Easy." Schulderich said interrupting their brief spat. "Both of you can play." Schulderich smiled slyly at both of them, catching on to the whole rivalry that was going on. "One dollar can get you three knives and all you have to do is hit 'ol Farfie here, and the Bear is yours to give to whomever you want." 

Ken and Takeru smiled evilly to themselves, thinking of Schulderich's words. Flames appeared in their eyes as they pondered in their minds how the scenario would play out. 

Ken imagined himself throwing the last knife and hitting Farfello. He gained the humongous bear while Daisuke coon over how cool he was and how he had always loved him and things of that nature. Takeru would be at his feet, kissing them and begging for his mercy. 

Takeru's thoughts were about the same.

Both of them smiled evil-Grinch smiles and gave a slyly, smiling, Schulderich approximately three dollars. Schulderich smiled and handed Takeru the knives with the blue tags and Ken the knives with the red tags. 

The alarm rang and Ken ducked for a moment thinking that they were on yet another roller coaster, zooming into the heights. Takeru chuckled to himself. Both prepared for battle. 

Farfello arose and ran back and forth in the booth. Little did they know that Farfello wasn't actually paying attention to whether or not the knives hit him or not. He was busy searching for his next victim to torture him, which happened to be a small rodent. 

The bell rang when Takeru hit Farfello. Schulderich gave him a bear, at the same moment the bell rang again. Takeru looked over to see Ken receiving a slightly larger bear than he was. It seemed that it all depended on what part of Farfello's body was hit. The closer it was to vital organ, the bigger the bear. How that boy didn't die from this game is another unsolved mystery

Ken looked at him with a snide look on his face. Takeru got mad and threw another knife hitting Farfello. He received a bear bigger than Ken's.

Ken glared daggers and hit Farfello winning a bear larger than Takeru's. This proceeded on and on, until ten bears later…Takeru held up the huge bear that Daisuke had pointed out earlier. Ken glowered as Takeru smiled triumphantly at him with a hint of arrogance. 

"You won!" Daisuke cried excitedly, "Cooooooool!" Though he really wasn't thinking much about the bear, but just that Takeru won the game.

Takeru looked over at Ken once again for effect. Ken glared and mumbled something.

Takeru walked over to Daisuke, holding a bear that seemed almost as large as a real bear. Daisuke looked at him innocently. 

"Daisuke, this is for you." Takeru said his voice low and suave. "I have won you the bear that you wished so dearly." 

Daisuke arched an eyebrow looking at the large bear. And in the background Miyako's barfing sounds could be heard, but she wasn't barfing because of the toys. 

Takeru ignored Miyako and handed Daisuke Bearzilla, making the poor boy almost fall back from its weight. 

"Uh…thank you, Takeru." Daisuke's bewildered voice came somewhere behind the bear. "It's so…big." 

Takeru smiled brightly, his eyes large and full of hope, and stupid dream sequences where he and Daisuke did naughty things. 

There was a moment of silence between the group of friends where Ken plotted Takeru's demise. Takeru continued to have stupid dream sequences that every once in a while broke the silence with a low moan or silly giggles. Hikari, Miyako and Iori had left quite some time ago looking for intelligent life (Ha! Good Luck) and Daisuke stared at the Bearzilla, wondering what the hell he was going to do with a bear that he _never_ wanted in the first place. 

At that moment, two people passed by them; one tall with flaming red hair and mean ass scowl and the other shorter more genki, with soft brown hair and bright chocolate eyes. 

"Ohhh, Ran-chan." The one with the brown hair said. "Can't we play that game? Please! Win me that dolly, please!!" 

"Ken, control yourself, we're here to stop Schwarz's evil plans." The one called Ran said. 

"But Ran-chan…" Ken whined (how many Kens are there in Anime, anyway!) but stopped at the sound of sharp metal scarping against metal. "Ran-chan, if you draw out that sword, I swear you won't get any for a month!!" We hear the sound again. "Good, now buy me a pretzel, Ran-chan." 

"Yes, Ken-koi." 

"Hey Ken, that guy had the same name as you." Massive sweatdrop all around. 

"Yes he did, Daisuke." 

There was a small gasped heard and the overly cute, Chibi Bunny Yamato ran in complaining about over sleeping and almost missing his cue. Daisuke watched in awe as Yamato pressed the button and the blackboard popped up. 

"Cool!" 

Yamato shook his head in exasperation and took one of his many pieces of chalk, making a mark on Takeru sided. Takeru grinned happily and placed his fists on his hips, extending his chest proudly. Ken shook his head calling him an idiot. Daisuke was to busy watching Yamato put away the board to notice. 

"Score Tied!!" Yamato called out before running off again. 

"Hey Takeru, why didn't you tell me your brother was part of a cabaret?" Daisuke asked turning towards Takeru. Takeru shrugged. 

"My brother's not exactly normal." Takeru said calmly. Then turned to Ken and raised his two hands only showing his index fingers and middle fingers and shaking both hands while grinning like a fool. Ken gave him an odd look. 

Daisuke was about to say something when a Chibi Fox Taichi walked over to him and pulled on his pants leg. Daisuke looked down and grinned. 

"Hi, Taichi-sempai!!" Daisuke said brightly. There was a moment of silence between them. "Oh, Yamato? He went that away." There was another moment of silence. "Welcome! I'll see you next week for soccer practice. Ja!!" He waved to Taichi's swishing tail and turned back to Takeru and Ken who were sweatdropping. 

"Oi kid." Schulderich said walking towards them. "These are yours, too." He dumped the other ten teddy bears that were won on Daisuke's head then walked away. 

There was no sign of Daisuke under the mound of bears. Ken and Takeru began to walk towards him yelling at each other, that it was the other's fault that Daisuke was covered in bears. Daisuke's head popped out from the mound of bears and blinked cutely at his friends. 

_Awwww._ Ken and Takeru thought looking at Daisuke look all cute and confused. 

Daisuke on the other hand was thinking. _Toooo many bears!_

Daisuke climbed out of the bears with the help of Ken and Takeru who were both in heaven because they were able to touch him. 

Daisuke turned and looked at the all the bears, thinking that Ken and Takeru were both morons for giving him all those bears. 

_Do they think I'm a girl or something? _Daisuke thought, _Why would I need all these bears! _

He didn't have much time to ponder this, since Hikari had returned telling them that it was time to eat. So Daisuke stomach decided to grumble at being reminded that it hadn't eaten since breakfast. Which wasn't much at all considering he had to run all the way to the carnival. 

So they all followed Hikari, Daisuke carrying Bearzilla (which from the front looked like a giant bear with two legs coming out of it's butt wearing huge baggy pants and sneakers) and Ken and Takeru carrying five bears each. 

They came upon Miyako and Iori sitting at the table chatting. Takeru and Ken drop the bears on the floor and were about to seat themselves when they heard someone clear their throat. They both turned around.

"I know you're not going to leave them there, right?" Bearzilla said to them…well not really, it was actually Daisuke. But he was still carrying the large bear, so it looked it was speaking. Daisuke pointed one of the huge bear paws at the other bears.

"Ah…yeah we are." Takeru said.

"Nope. That won't do. They need their own table." Daisuke replied.

"Why?" Ken asked in a bored monotone. 

"Because, if the bears are on the floor then their butts will get dirty. And they'll get mad because they have to go into my room with dirty butts. Then they would call their Teddy bear brother named Little Bear, who actually isn't little."

"Bigger than him?" Ken asked pointing at Bearzilla.

"Yeah. He's as big as…as….big as…the ocean!" Daisuke said moving the Bearzilla's hands—paws, whatever—so that it looked like it was talking instead of him. And to be honest, it did look a little intimidating with the bear having that doll's head in its mouth, and all. 

"Fine. Where do you want them?" Takeru asked.

"Over there at that table." Daisuke said. Takeru started to place the bears on the table.

"Nooo. You can't put them on the table. They are civilized bears, they have to sit in the chairs." 

"Okay. Fine. Come on Ken, help me." Takeru said looking behind him at Ken. Ken laughed at him and walked away, placing himself in a seat next to Daisuke. Takeru grumbled something unkind and began to set each bear in its' own seat. 

And once more a Chibi Bunny Yamato came and did the usual. He placed a tally mark on Ken's side. 

"Hey, why?" Takeru said. "All he's doing is sitting there while I'm doing stuff."

Yamato looked at Takeru and then pointed at Daisuke who was talking to Ken. 

"…Fuck." 

Yamato glared at him for using dirty language. "Takeru," Yamato said, "Even though I'm a chibi and a bunny and I'm taking points, doesn't mean you can curse." He jumped up and shoved a bar of soap into Takeru's mouth. "Better." He then walked away. 

Takeru pulled out the soap bar and glared in the direction his brother went. "Hypocrite…saying I can't curse when he does it all the damn time!" 

He would have kept on grumbling if it wasn't for the Chibi Fox Taichi, which walked by reminding Takeru of Daisuke, which reminded him of the bears. 

After the bears were put away, Takeru returned to see Ken taking orders. 

"What do you want?" Ken asked them.

"I want a Shish Kebab, fries and a soda." Iori said.

"Get me a hotdog, onion rings, and a soda." Hikari replied.

"I want a yogurt and some orange juice. I have to keep this girlish figure you know."

"Yeah, whatever." Ken mumbled, "What do you want, Daisuke?" 

"I'll take his order." Takeru volunteered coming up to the table. Ken grinned at him evilly and replied,

"Okay Takeru. Be my guest." Then he walked off laughing like an evil villain who just discovered his enemy's weakness. Takeru looked at him with an expression of bewilderment. 

"Okay…Daisuke, what do you want?" Takeru asked. Daisuke took a long intake of breath before responding.

"I want fries, hotdogs, hamburgers, Gyros, Shish Kebab, Funnel Cake, a candy apple, chocolate apple, cotton Candy, Soda." Daisuke said, "Juice and Coffee, Beef Patties, Fish on a stick, beef jerky, bean paste—only the bean paste, and then some moon cakes. Chicken teriyaki, squid on a stick, rice of all kinds, chicken sandwiches, cinnamon buns, Italian and cinnamon and cheese filled pretzels; Lucky Charms®, Ostrich meat sandwiches. Hmmm? Pumpkin Almond Bisque in a pumpkin shell—make sure it has a pumpkin shell; salmon platter salad, ginger pineapple mold, overnight cranbread casserole, Mediterranean black beans and rice skillet, Hopping Joe, Glogg, and easy orange fizz." 

Takeru and the rest of the Chosen Children—minus Ken—just stared at him with these blank looks. Takeru then began to think about what had just been order. He first wondered if Daisuke was actually going to eat all that. Then he began to wonder what Hopping Joe, Glogg and Easy Orange Fizz were and where he was suppose to get this stuff from. 

"All right, Daisuke…I'll be right back." Takeru said after he received the money from Daisuke to pay for what he ordered. 

"Wait, you can't go yet!" Daisuke said. 

"You want something else!" Takeru looked pale. Daisuke shook his head. 

"No!" Daisuke said. "How can we eat while the bears just watch us." 

"Huh?"

"Takeru, go take the bears orders." 

There would have been silence, if it wasn't for Ken who was almost in tears in laughter. He had returned somewhere in "Ostrich Meat Sandwiches and Lucky Charms®" and had been laughing ever since. But this part with the bears was too much and he had ended up on the floor laughing his tiny, little butt off. 

"You're kidding?" Takeru asked. Daisuke looked at him like he was stupid, so Takeru tried a different method. "What if they don't finish all their food?" 

"I'll eat it." Daisuke said cheerfully. 

"But…" 

"Go Takeru, don't keep the bears waiting." Daisuke made a shooing motion.

Takeru sighed and walked over to the bears, he could hear Ken's laughter in the background. Takeru took out his notebook and a pen. He turned back to Daisuke. "Is there any bear I should ask first." He asked Daisuke.

"Don't be cheeky." Daisuke said rolling his eyes in that parental way. 

Takeru sighed and wondered why he was doing this as he looked at the bears. He looked back at Daisuke.

__

Oh yeah. 

"May I take your order, Bear." Takeru asked in a voice so monotonous it would put the guy from the clear eyes commercials to shame. 

As Takeru looked at the bear, wondering what was going to happen next, Daisuke stood from his seat. He grinned and ran over to the bear that Takeru had spoken to. Ducking down behind the seat, he took hold of the back of the bear's head and made it turn its head. 

"I wanna a veggie burger." Daisuke said in a deep voice. "No salt." 

Takeru sweatdropped. "Ahh, Daisuke? Is that you?"

The bear's head was raised so it could look straight into Takeru's blue eyes and its' forehead was pushed forward so it looked like it was frowning. 

"My name ain't Daisuke, it's Bubba." The bear, now know as Bubba, said.

Takeru sweatdropped again. And for some reason he knew he'd be doing that a lot. Deciding that it would be in his best interest (that interest being getting Daisuke in the sack) to shut up and do what he was told, he quickly jotted down the bear's order. Then he moved towards another bear. 

"And you want?" Takeru asked. He waited for a moment as Daisuke moved towards the other bear and knelt behind its seat. 

"I want gumbo." There was no hesitation in this bear's voice. It knew what it wanted. 

Takeru sweatdropped, idly wondering how many different voice Daisuke could do. But he didn't get a chance to ponder that thought as Miyako walked over and knelt behind another bear. She took hold of it, similar to the way Daisuke had done and made it turn its' head towards the bear that had just ordered. Takeru once again sweatdropped. 

"Gumbo! Again!" This bear squawked, in a southern accent reserved for old ladies. "Kenny, you always eating that there gumbo! Gumbo! Gumbo! Gumbo!! Order something different. Like Bubba over there. He be eating healthy, you should too!"

Daisuke ran over to Bubba and took hold of it. He made it turn its head. "Huh? Someone call me?" 

"Quit Bubba." Miyako's bear snapped. Then it turned back to the other bear. "Now Kenny, order something healthy." 

Daisuke ran back to the other bear. "Mind yours, woman." 

The two bears continued to argue, Takeru watching as Daisuke or Miyako would hop back and forth from certain bears and back as the two primary bears continued their argument about Gumbo. Finally after about five minutes the bear that Miyako had gave up and the Gumbo was ordered. 

Takeru wondered form bear to bear, Daisuke following him and ordering for the bears. Miyako of course would take hold of another bear and they'd have a spat or a conversation about foliage and whatever else bears would talk about. 

Finally Takeru reached the last bear. Thanking any deity that he knew for it and yet strangely amused by the whole ordeal. He was though, planning his revenge, which really was revenge at all if one thought about. But no more silly dream sequences, okay?

"All right bear, what do you want.' Needless to say Takeru was a bit aggravated. 

The bear, which had a bifocal in one eye and a little mustache, turned to him and raised his snout at him. 

"Listen boy," it said in a very English accent. "You will address me as Bear-san. Not Mr. Bear, Bear, or anything of the sort. Only Bear-san, do you understand?" 

"Yeah." Takeru said, waving his hand in dismal. The bear's whole body seemed to cave in on itself in anger. 

"Boy, you will speak to me with respect." The bear said, waving it's paw at him, which was holding a cane. "When spoken to you will answer as 'Hai, Bear-san'. Do you understand me?" 

"Yes." Blue eyes rolled. 

THWAP!!

"Itai!!" Takeru rubbed the spot on his arm that had been smacked with the cane. 

"Address me correctly, boy!" 

"Hai, Bear-san." He mumbled.

THWAP!! 

"More enthusiasm." 

"Hai, Bear-san!!" 

"Good, and don't you forget." The bear leaned in closer. "I made you and I can break you. Do not anger me again." The bear leaned back. "Now go fetch me some caviar and some red wine with a lemon twist." 

"Lemon twist?" 

THWAP!!

"Don't question me!!" 

Takeru grumbled and turned around. As he began to walk away, he noticed that a small crowd had developed around the table he had just been recently receiving orders from. The people were all staring oddly at him and the bears, while the children looked very happy and entertained. Takeru blushed with embarrassment and ran through the crowd to get the orders. 

And what was Ken doing all this time? One word: laughing. 

After about five minutes Takeru came back with Daisuke and the bear's orders. He placed Daisuke's order in front of him and placed the bear's orders in front of them. No one knows how Takeru was able to find that type of food in the park or why it only took him five minutes to bring it? Or How Daisuke managed to eat all of his food and the bears' in a half an hour, but pretty soon they were done. 

After lunch Daisuke quietly sunk away and sold the bears to one crazy bear collector for five thousand dollars and a bag of multicolored rubber bands. Just thought you'd like to know.

And what amusement park would be complete without a Haunted House. It would be a from of sacrilege for there not to be any type of horror house in any amusement park. And it would be an even bigger sacrilege for one to go the amusement park and not take a trip to the haunted house and be scared by the prerecorded moans, screams, creepy laughter and howls. And let's not forget the, pop up monsters and the actors in bad make up. 

The Neo Chosen Children now stood on line to get into the horror house. The wait wasn't as bad as the roller coaster ride, and went by smoothly. Pretty soon they were at the front of the line. Much to the relief of Miyako, Hikari and Iori.

Takeru and Ken were once more plotting how to get a hold of Daisuke. Both entertaining some stupid belief that Daisuke would be terrified and hold one of them in fear. Yeah right.

A tall man with honey brown, wavy hair looked at them and smiled. Then he unclasped the chain and let them in saying in a sweet voice, "Have a nice time." 

The group headed into the dark with Ken, Takeru, and Daisuke leading and Iori, Miyako, and Hikari following behind them. 

They went through the usual stuff, you know, werewolves, vampires, witches with their laughs of horror, the usual. All the while Daisuke ran from one thing to the other, touching and inspecting everything saying:

"Cool!"

"Hey guys look at this!"

"Grrrr. Fear me I am the great werewolf!"

All the while Ken and Takeru found it completely adorable. They each plotted how to bed the hyper child and have the wildest sex they could think of at the time. 

Suddenly Daisuke turned around and his eyes grew wide. Takeru and Ken stopped. "Dude, where's the rest of the guys?" Ken and Takeru quickly turned around and saw that Hikari, Iori, and Miyako were missing. They both smiled inwardly. 

"They're probably right behind us." Takeru said shrugging. Daisuke shrugged and continued.

In a moment they saw a werewolf, wearing glasses with the most bored look on his face. The boys stopped and gazed at it. 

"Growl. Growl. Slobber. Slobber. Growl." The werewolf said in a flat monotone.

"This werewolf is lame." Daisuke whispered.

"Growl. Oh yeah, I have to pretend it's Schulderich." He said, and then with more enthusiasm "Grrrrr. I want to eat you." 

"I think we should move on." Ken suggested. They started to move away. 

"You will be scared in exactly one minute." The werewolf called after them.

"Humpf. What does he know?" Takeru asked. 

They turned and started to walk away. Both plotting how to get close enough to the hyper active object of their affections. As they walked, a creature came out through a hole in the wall. "Kick ass! That thing is ill!" Takeru and Ken looked at the creature, which had a striking resemblance to mucus or that stuff that has been hawked up by a sick person, with many eyes and mouths adorning it. Ken and Takeru both let out the most high pitch screams that only soprano girl in a church choir can accomplish.

Ken, in his terror glomped Daisuke and had first contact with the large, silver spikes lining Daisuke's neckpiece. 

Meanwhile, Takeru was running around screaming frantically with his hands in his hair. Daisuke…well he was Daisuke, until Ken smacked into him. 

"Itai…" Ken whimpered. 

Daisuke turned to look at him. Worry lining his chocolate eye as he took hold of Ken's hands and moved them from his face. He leaned in very close to Ken looking at the small bruise on the pale boy's cheek. Daisuke raised his hand, placing his thumb on Ken's cheek and rubbing slightly. 

"Gomen…does it hurt?" Daisuke asked, his voice a mere whisper.

__

Oh god. Oh god Oh God. Ken thought. _He's so fine!_

"Ken? Ken! Ken, your hyperventilating!" Daisuke cried out, finally catching Takeru's attention who was still running around in circles screaming. He stopped, frowning at the sight of Daisuke hovering over Ken worriedly. Takeru began to walk towards the two boys, ready to break up the tender moment.

Daisuke placed his hands on Ken's shoulders and began to shake him hard, making Takeru stop walking to watch the ongoing in curiously. Daisuke continued to shake a hyperventilating Ken. 

"Ken! Ken! Stop breathing funny!!!" Daisuke yelled as he shook Ken hard. "KEEEEEN!!!!" 

Takeru began to laugh. It seemed all those boys did was laugh at each other and accomplish nothing. And they expected to get Daisuke's attention like that?

"All right! Daisuke! Stop!!" Ken cried out. Daisuke stopped and looked at him. 

"You okay?" Ken nodded. Daisuke grinned and let go of Ken. He turned quickly and began to walk down the hall. "Then Onward! Come men!!" This was said in a deep manly voice. 

__

Whoa! Ken and Takeru thought at the same time, following after their leader. 

At that moment chibi bunny Yamato appeared with his briefcase. He opened it and marked a point underneath Ken's name. "Ken three with Takeru trailing with one." He cried. Then he packed up his stuff and ran off. 

A moment later Chibi Fox Taichi comes by sniffing the ground not stopping, and continuing on its way. 

When they existed the Horror House, they found that Hikari, Iori and Miyako were waiting for them. It seemed that they didn't want to spend the time with the two boys who were constantly drooling over Daisuke. Miyako had even made a comment about it which of course Daisuke didn't get. 

But anyway, that's not exactly important. What is important at the moment, is that Takeru was sulking. Why was he sulking, you may ask? Well, it was because Ken was ahead of him by two points. This of course made Takeru angry, and when he was angry he got determined. And right now, he was determined. He was determined to win Daisuke. 

Takeru stopped walking for a moment. How could he get Daisuke? As he pondered this question, he began to look around the amusement park. He looked at the booths, the rides, the large, muscular man eating at ice cream. Large, muscular man eating an ice cream? 

Takeru gasped. That was it. Why didn't he think of it before. Grinning like a fool he began to walk towards the man. 

Out of his head, a large thought bubble came so we could see a lush meadow, with some doodles of a couple of booths. Next we see a chibi Daisuke, Ken, Iori, Miyako and Hikari walking past the booths. Out of no where came the man that had been eating the ice cream. He now had been chibized but still managed to look menacing as he towered over chibi Daisuke. 

The Chibi Daisuke, in Takeru's mind, of course looked on with terror in his large, watery eyes. Ken tried to come to Daisuke's aid but was swatted aside like a common insect. The other Chosen are too scared to help the poor Daisuke who was cowering in fear from the floor. 

The large man, who was eating ice cream, now a chibi, looked down at Daisuke and made an evil face. Daisuke whimpered and called out for someone to help him.

At that moment, Takeru came. He was also a chibi and had a cape blowing in the wind. He stood between Daisuke and the big man and began to babble about how he will not allow the big man to hurt his beloved Daisuke, who was by now swooning behind him. 

The large man grinned evilly, saying something around the equivalent to "oh yeah" and threatened Takeru's life. Daisuke now looked worried. Oh and, almost forgot to mention that Daisuke was now in a large pink princess gown complete with a cone hat. 

Meanwhile the large man puffed up and tried to strike Takeru. Takeru, being the hero of this stupid dream sequence, jumped out of the way and with one mighty punch beat the large man who ate ice cream. 

Daisuke then jumped up and hugged Takeru calling him his hero while Takeru grinned like an old hentai and carried Daisuke off. The description of the dream sequence would have continued but we don't feel writing something NC-17, chibi style. 

But anyway, back to the story. Just before all that retarded crap came in, Takeru walked up to the guy and tapped him. The guy turned around, towering over the small boy. "What do you want?" He asked in his gruff voice as he munched on the small ice cream cone in his hand. 

"Mister, can you do something for me?" Takeru asked him.

Daisuke, Ken, and Takeru walked through the crowd heading for the Ferris wheel. Miyako, Iori, and Hikari went off to purchase some ice cream, leaving the three boys to wander by themselves. 

As they approached the Ferris wheel a large shadow seemed to come out of nowhere and cover everything in their surrounding area. The three boys turned around and saw the largest, most burliest man that even the imagination can't think of, holding a small cone dripping with strawberry ice cream. Daisuke looked up with his eyes wide saying "Tall." 

"You don't like my ice cream, boy?" The man growled at Daisuke.

"Huh?" Daisuke said as his eyebrow cocked. 

"Don't huh-ing me, boy. You looked at my ice cream funny." 

"Riiiiiight." Daisuke said, "I think we should go now." The guy growled and was about to smash Daisuke with the palm of his hand (and his hand was big enough to do it, too) when Takeru came in and held his hand like He-man from Masters of the Universe. He has a big red towel around his neck that is flapping in the wind, hitting Ken in the face. 

Takeru pushed the man's hand aside and cried out, "Stop, you evil doer! I will not let you harm this young man!" 

"And what are you do about it?!" The big man with the ice cream growled. Takeru pulled his fist back and punched the guy in the stomach. The guy looked at him for a moment. Takeru mouthed, "fall over" to the guy. 

__

You're such a dork. Ken thought. 

"Oh yeah… Arggh!" He growled and he fell backwards onto an old lady, who just happened to be there. 

Takeru put his hands on his hips as the wind whipped his cape. "HAHAHAHAHA! Good shall always triumph!" He bellowed. 

"Wow, Takeru that was so cool!" Daisuke said going up to him. Takeru smirked at Ken. "Did you see his belly jiggle. It went buluga buluga." Daisuke said hopping up and down moving his hands like he had a big belly. "Then he fell on the old lady." Daisuke started laughing. 

Once again chibi bunny Yamato came with his briefcase. He opened it up and put two points under Takeru. 

"Hey!" Ken cried," That's not fair!" 

"All is fair in love and war." Chibi Yamato said shaking his finger at Ken, "Score is tied." With that said he packed up and left.

After a moment Chibi Fox Taichi came and sniffed the air. "I will catch you, my beautiful prey." He said and went in the same direction Chibi bunny Yamato went.

"You know there are too many horny men around here." Miyako said. 

"Oh guys, you just missed the coolest thing!" Daisuke said running up to Iori, Miyako, and Hikari. He gleefully told the story of the jiggling man and not really including the fact that Takeru stood up to him. 

After the fat man incident, everything seemed to calm down. The group moved towards the Ferris . They waited in another long line. Then climbed in. Hikari being the evil girl she was, shoved Daisuke into a seat with Miyako and then place Ken and Takeru together in the other. She finally sat herself next to Iori who smiled at her. Hikari just grinned and kissed him on the cheek. He blushed and the wheel began to turn. 

Miyako and Daisuke seemed to actually get along. Well, in some sense since, they were arguing about who would beat who in laser tag. Neither one believed that the they could be beat by the other. Takeru and Ken weren't even speaking to each other. They would just glare at each other while once more having dream sequences. It seemed that they would never get to see the red head naked except in their dreams. Sooo sad. 

Hikari and Iori…well , they were making out. Simple and easy. 

When the ride was over and they had all removed themselves from the seat, they began to walk towards the exit. The three more normal Chosen tired of running around with Daisuke and his moronic Don Juans. They were ready to pack it in and go home. But of course that couldn't happen yet, the stories not over. 

"I am so _hot_!" Daisuke moaned. At that Ken and Takeru stopped and looked at Daisuke, their hormones going into maximum over drive at the boy's words. Hikari and Miyako had to literally hold them back. Daisuke of course, noticed nothing of this. 

"I need to cool off." Takeru and Ken just looked at him, like he was a hick and he was alone in a field waiting to get captured and probe by aliens. The aliens being Takeru and Ken and let's not even bring what kind of probes they would be using. Again Daisuke was completely oblivious. 

"Oh, I know!" With that the boy was off. His friends looked at his retreating back then chased after him calling out his name. 

Daisuke lead them towards the area where all the water rides were. He ran towards one water ride that consisted of a giant mountain and a waterfall. The people on the ride would fall out of a hole in the mountain, down the waterfall, splashing when they hit the bottom. The weight of the car making the water splash over the bridge that hung over the water.

The other kids watched as Daisuke ran on to the bridge, waited for the car to come down from the mountain and splash the bridge, he was currently standing on. He came down, five cars later. 

Daisuke was a drenched, grinning rat. He looked at his friends who gave him odd looks. 

"What?" he asked pulling off his shirt and ringing it off. "I was hot." 

"Uh-huh." Takeru said. He was watching as Daisuke lean athletic muscles moved as he began to squeeze the water from his shirt. 

"Hot." Ken said. He was watching Daisuke, as well. Only his eyes would follow Daisuke's hands as they ran down his tanned arms and taut stomach. 

Both were watching the beads of water trailing down from his hair, down the curves of his face. Caressing his neck and chest, tracing his abdominal muscles, to disappear into the waistline of his dancing cupcake printed boxers. 

Iori watched Daisuke with an air of indifference when he noticed something. He looked down to notice that his new suede shoes were covered in water. No not water—drool. He looked to his right and left to find that the drool was coming from none other then Ken and Takeru. 

That was the last straw. Iori had had enough of this stupidity. "YOU!" He yelled pointing at Ken, "AND YOU!" He pointed at Takeru. Lastly pointing at Daisuke he yelled again in a menacing, accusing voice, "YOOOOOU!" 

"What?" Daisuke asked. Iori's eyes flamed with fire burning from the loss of his suede shoes. His fist clenched tightly as sweat poured from them. He pointed at Daisuke.

"YOOOU!" He yelled, then he pointed at both Ken and Takeru, "THEEEY WANT YOOOU!…THEY WANT YOU, MAN…THEY WANT YOUR HOT, STINKING MAN JUICES…"

Hikari walked over to Iori and placed a hand on his shoulder. Iori turned to look at her. 

"Iori-chan, calm down…" Hikari said rubbing his shoulders a little. 

"QUIET!!" The normally reversed and calm boy bellowed. "SHOES!! THEY…DROOL…RUIN…HIM!!" He pointed at Daisuke, who looked on with wide surprised eyes. "MY SHOES RUINED, BECAUSE THEY WANT YOU!! KEN AND TAKERU WANT YOU… WHAT ARE YOU STUPID?!!!"

"Oh, I knew that." Daisuke said waving his hand in dismissal. 

Silence and wide eyes. In one voice, everyone yelled, "YOU KNEW?!"

"Of course I knew. What do you think, I'm stupid or something?" Daisuke asked.

"Well…" Miyako started. Daisuke shot a look at her. 

"Bu…but…you and the…and the…_WHY_?!" Iori cried.

"I think what my beloved, boyfriend is trying to say is: _why_ did you go through the whole fiasco?" Hikari asked speaking for Iori, who happened to be at a loss for words at the moment and struck utterly dumbfounded. Ken and Takeru just didn't speak at all. As soon as they saw Daisuke half-naked and wet they lost all means of communication. They were aware, they just couldn't speak. 

"Well…" Daisuke started as he began to collect his thoughts. Everyone staring at him in silence. The only sound came from the not so distance games and Iori's breathing. Daisuke looked at them for a long moment, his eyes passing over Takeru then Ken. 

He quietly put on his shirt and sat down on a nearby rock. The others just looked at him as he looked at them. Then finally he spoke.

"Vengeance." Daisuke said simply. 

"VENGEANCE?!" The group chorused. Daisuke nodded. 

"Not on you guys." Daisuke motioned to Hikari, Miyako, and Iori. "But on those two!!" He pointed to Ken and Takeru. 

"Us?" Takeru asked. 

"Why us?" Ken asked. It seemed they had once again regained the ability to speak. 

Daisuke started at them like they ha grown a second head and it was a toaster. 

"Duh!!" Daisuke cried out. "I am sick and tired of the wooing. The constant wooing! The squealing, the glomping, the flowers—all those damn flowers!! What the hell do you want me to do with all those fucking flowers! And let's not forget the stalking and singing. Oh, how I hated the sing!!" he growled at them. "What was with you and the singing!!! Horrible, horrible serenade!" 

"I don't think we were that bad." Ken mumbled. 

"Who serenades someone with a sex song?" Daisuke was now breathing hard. "And Takeru…The Spice Girls!" 

"Spice Girls?" Miyako laughed, "Man, you're a loser!" 

"It's the only thing I could find." Takeru defend himself. "It's Yamato's!" 

At that moment Yamato came by still in a bunny suit and glared at Takeru. 

"That CD is _not_ mine!" He said pulling out his briefcase. He opened it and looked at the blackboard. He then began to erase the points. He turned and looked at the children.

"Due to the new revelations, " He began, "that Ken and Takeru are dorks. I declare this competition null and void!" With that he turned to Daisuke. "Man, I feel for you." 

Yamato packed up and before he could leave Chibi Fox Taichi pounced on him. They rolled on the ground for a moment, until Taichi finally pinned him. "I finally caught you…Yamato." He laughed evilly, like one of those evil bad guys from those badly dubbed martial arts flicks. He picked Yamato up with his jaws and ran off with him.

"Well, at least someone got some." Miyako commented. Everyone looked at her then when they looked back Daisuke was gone. 

To be continued in _Operation Glomp_…Dun Dun DUN!…

Authors' Notes: We apologize for the crappy ending but we couldn't think of anything better. Anyway, it really isn't over until _Operation Glomp_. Oh, and also be on the look out for the prequeal to this retarded thing which at the moment remains untitled. 


	2. prequel

Warning & Disclaimer: We do not own or ever will own anything from or having to do with Digimon. Do not sue. No money. On both sides. Shounen ai. Don't like, don't read. 

I'm going to kill them. Oh yeah, slow and painful, torture. Yes, torture…I'll borrow a book from the library or something. Well, whatever I do to them it will so mean, so maniacal, so twisted and wicked, so _good_.

Yes, I will have my vengeance, Takaishi Takeru and Ichijouji Ken! You will feel my wrath!

"Daisuke, stop laughing so damn loud, I can't hear the TV!" Jun yelled as she threw the empty popcorn bowl at my head. 

"'Neechan!" I cried back rubbing my head. "You messed up my evil plotting." 

"Baka." 

I decided to ignore my sister and continue with my evil plotting. But first I guess I should explain why I'm having murderous thoughts about my two best friends—a term I use loosely, mind you. 

Well…once upon a time there was a lonely boy named Motomiya Daisuke. He was a calm—well, maybe not calm…Ahem. Let's try this again. He was a cool kick ass guy that everyone likes…don't look at me like that. 

Fine! Ruin all my fun.

It'll all started like a week ago, I was in school, taking my notes…well not really, I was drawing little yetis chasing after clowns. But that's not what's important, is it? 

I was in school, in class, on a perfectly good day for skating when the door opened. In walked this really dorky-looking kid, I mean dorkier then Jyou, Iori, and Koushiro combined! And to make him even dorkier he was wearing a shirt with the school colors on it—green and gold. And yes it had the school mascot, Babbaa the rambunctious lama on it too. I have no idea why it's called Babaa. 

But anyway, he walked in and everyone was looking at him 'cause he was holding a bouquet of flowers in his hands. He bowed towards the teacher who only rolled her eyes and motioned for him to hurry up. 

Now let me explain to you something. Our school is stupid, why because it's pretty much broke since it spends way to much money on textbooks and all that other school crap. So when the kids want to go on a trip or something there's no money. So how do they get the money for the school trips, dances and so on? No. The school store. 

Ah yes the school store, a place where the nerds rule and do inventory and sell pocket protectors and all that crap. But they also sell candies, flowers and a few other normal things. And they deliver, so if a kid asked in advanced they could get flowers or some other token of affection delivered to their sweet heart in class. This is done all year 'round and all the time. 

Watch as I barf.

So that's what this dork was doing. Delivering. Poor nerd. 

"Is Motomiya Daisuke here." What the hell was he asking for me for? I don't have anyone and this crap is usually reserved for girls so that they can make all the other girls sick with envy. 'Oh look how much my boyfriend loves me!!' I think I'm going to barf…again. 

"Daisuke!" Miyako screamed in surprised. She laughed and took hold of my hand waving it. "Look it's him, the one with the Afro!" Damn her. That's another person I have to kill. Inoue Miyako. 

Anyway he kinda wobbled over to me with that kinda dorky walk. You know which one I'm talking about. And then he said to me, "I need you to sign for these." He shoved a clipboard under my nose. I looked to see who sent the accursed flowers while I signed the stupid paper at the same time. But the paper gave no indication what so ever. And before I could ask the dorky kid was already out the door. 

"So who are they from?" Miyako asked me like the flowers were from her or something. Creepy thought isn't it. 

I looked inside the card while Miyako was busy pawing at me trying to see over my shoulder. The damn card was blank except for this cheesy message. It read: 

_Dearest Daisuke, _

You are my angel from the sky. You are my Adonis and I wish to be your Venus. When I see you the room becomes pastel and all I can see is you. You with your radiant smile and beautiful chocolate eyes… 

I stopped reading it after that 'cause it was making me sick. Though I did skim down to the bottom to see who it was from, but found nothing. I was slightly miffed, I was hoping to kick the crap out of him or her for sending something so mushy and so cliché. 

Adonis? Venus? Blah! 

I looked at the flowers half-disgusted and half-amused. I mean, who ever had done it had put a lot of thought into it and no matter how cynical and sarcastic I can get, I'm not a complete jerk. It was a nice gesture. 

Who ever it was had put a lot of thought into what flowers to send. There were the usual roses, which didn't interest me much. But there were also gladiolus, which not only was a lovely flower but it also meant splendid beauty. There were also chrysanthemum, meaning cheerfulness and optimism. And there were also Aster meaning elegance. It was a beautiful bouquet, the combinations of yellow greens, yellows, blue greens and reds was stunning. But not exactly something that would impress me, just something that would amuse me for about five minutes of my life. 

Nice thought, too bad I didn't really care. 

Miyako on the other hand…Well let's just say she had a look of disbelief, jealousy, and excitement mixed in one little package. I contemplated giving her the flowers, but then I decided against it. She might think I like her or something. That, my friends, is extremely bad. So I decided to give them to the teacher since I didn't feel like giving them to anyone else. 

But before I could give them to the teacher, the dorky kid came in again looking for me. He was just in here so why does he have to ask the same question again! 

"Ah, is Motomiya Daisuke here?" Duh! But again Miyako decided to raise my hand for me. She couldn't just leave me alone. 

The dorky kid came over to me once again and this time he didn't give me flowers. He gave me something much more romantic—and that word is said with much contempt. It was a bear. And not just any bear, No, no no. This hideous creation was a white bear with these weird red heart prints on his chest like a Carebear™. He held this pillow that read: "I love you" with the sickening heart to replace the 'o' s. Now I usually like bears. You know they're cute, they kill and stuff. But this one I could not accept. However, this one also came with chocolates so I guess I could make an exception. 

Of course, I was starting to hate that dorky kid for bringing me such disgusting stuff. I should add him to my list too. 

Anyway, Miyako had that same look on her face. She acts like I wanted this stuff. 

I opened the box to see the chocolates because at the time that was all I cared about. It's like free food. Do you know how good free food is? 

I gave the bear to Miyako since she kept on cooing over how cute it looked and stuff. Girls. But I did make sure it was a friendly gift. I didn't want her getting any ideas. 

Class went pretty quickly after that. Luckily, I received no more stupid gifts, but Miyako, Hikari and a bunch of other girls kept sending me notes asking me who it was. If I had known who it was I would have already kicked their butt! So I'm insensitive. Screw you, I was pissed. 

I did calm down though, chocolate does that to me. So, when I left the class after the bell, everything was rosy…well as rosy as things get for me. Whatever. I was happily walking down the corridor to my next class—technology.

When…

"Daisuke-kun!" I heard from behind me. It was a little low at first but the sound began to get louder. "Daisuke-kun!" As I turned I saw a small blur in a sea of kids. The last thing I saw was a flash of blond then…GLOMP! 

"DAISUKE-KUN!" I hit the floor like I was a soldier in a bomb raid. I looked up to see Takeru on top of me, rambling off about something or other. 

My head hurt like Miyako just hit me with that huge mallet that I know all females have. Believe me, I was pissed. I tried to get Takeru's attention but failed at every attempt. "Takeru." 

"Daisuke-kun, I'm so happy to see you."

"Takeru"

"Oh, I missed you this morning. I wanted to walk to school with you but you were gone."

What?

"Really Daisuke-kun, you should wait for me. You never know what lurks behind every cardboard box."

What? 

"You being so cute and all. Do you know how many perverts would be trying to get you. I have to protect you."

What? Okay, the blond has lost his mind! It's official. And you know what pissed me off more. He still wasn't listening to me. Not to mention he was laying on my chest, in the middle of a semi-crowded hallway, and people were staring! I would have been blushing if it wasn't for my tanned skin. Regardless, it was embarrassing!

"Takeru!"

"And then the evil teddy bears would—huh? Yes, Daisuke?" He looked at me with those large, blue eyes and smiled at me. He was so cute, I was tempted to just to sit there and smile at him. Oh well. 

"Takeru." I took a deep breath. "Get the fuck off!" I shoved him off and stood up dusting myself off. 

But before I could yell at him for glomping me, Ken called me. I turned to see Ken come up right next to me. It was really funny too because as soon as he saw Takeru, they glared at each other like they were two alpha males fighting over a mate. I feel like a piece of meat. No worth. But that comes later. At the time I had no idea what Ken and Takeru were fighting about. And honestly I didn't care. They were more friends with me then with each other anyway, so them fighting wasn't all that big of a surprised.

"So did anything happen in class today?" Ken asked eyeing me. Why he asked that I had no idea. 

"Nah." I casually responded and shrugged my shoulders. 

"Are you sure?" He persisted. He eyed me like he was a GI trying to extract information from a prisoner who carried all the tactical information for the other side. 

"Yeah! Did you?" Takeru asked jumping in. He'd been acting a little too strange for his own good, maybe he forgot to take his medicine or something. 

"Nothing of any importance to me." I said casually as I walked to my next class. I knew they were staring I could feel it. 

*** 

That was the most eventful thing that happened during school. Which of course means that stuff happened after school, because I never said it was the most eventful thing that happened all day. That was foreshadowing, but I don't think I need to tell you that. 

Anyway after school I came home. I had nothing better to do. As soon as I got in Jun looked at me like I had taken her favorite lipstick and written on her mirror "Sora + Yamato 4ever" with a heart around it. But then again she always looks at me like that, so I ignored her. This is what makes us such loving siblings. 

When I got to my room I never expected to see what I was about to see next. I pushed the door open and there stood Ken and Takeru in French maid outfits. But that's not what freaked me out. What freaked me out was that my room was a total mess. I didn't see my clothes on the floor. My socks weren't draped over my dresser anymore. Not to mention I couldn't find any of my books. 

"W…What did you do?" I asked them. My voice was slightly shaky.

Takeru gave me one of those Duo Maxwell smiles and said cheerfully, "We cleaned your room." 

"You…you what?" It was true. They had cleaned my room. It was clean, so clean it smelled of detergent…lemon fresh! My room was lemon fresh! 

I was shaking with anger as I looked around the room. "I can see my floor!" I cried, "Where are they? What you do to them?"

"Them?" Ken asked. I looked at them and glared. 

"Fluffy, Dusty, Lint-chan, and Killer." I cried, "Where are they?" Ken and Takeru just gave me odd looks, which annoyed me. 

And then I noticed it, in Ken's hand was a Dustbuster™. I cried out and jumped to my feet, dashing towards them and knocking him over. I grabbed the Dustbuster™ and pressed it to my chest, hugging it fiercely. 

"Oh my poor dustbunnies!" I cried. "Fluffy-tachi talk to me! Say you're alive!" 

Ken and Takeru were looking at me strangely, like I was crazy or something. But they had no right to talk, they killed helpless dust. They were the crazed ones not me! I'm perfectly normal; it's the rest of the world that's insane! 

"Are you okay, Daisuke?" Takeru asked. 

"Killed…My…Friends." Rage filled my entire being. The flames from the depths of hell rose up from me. I swear that there must have been smoke pouring out of my nose. Which is very cool by the way. I would like to do it again if I had the chance.

Anyway, I was really angry and the first person I spotted was Ken. 

"Ken!!" Whoa was that me. My voice sounded like rolling thunder, as if I was a bear fighting with another bear over the last salmon in the pond.

Ken cringed out right. "Y…yes…D…Daisuke?" 

"Get Out _Now_!" I barked. Ken's eyes rolled backwards into his head and his face paled as he collapsed on my new spotless floor. So I decided to do the dirty work myself and flung him out my new spotless window. Oh, don't give me that look, my apartment's only two stories high and anyway, he fell into a hedge. Okay, so it was a thorny hedge, but he's alive! And since he was unconscious he didn't feel anything, so it's okay. I take care of my partners, even when trying to inflict pain on them. Yes, I'm that type of nice guy. 

I turned and saw Takeru quivering in the corner. I kind of stalked towards him. However the pain I was about to inflict upon him was harder since he was still…um…conscious. I grabbed him and "kindly" escorted him to the garbage shoot. He had a damn good trip on the way down too, hope there wasn't a garbage truck down there. 

I went back to my room and did some rearrangement to my room and it was back to normal. It took me about five seconds and that's cause I had to get some dirt from around the apartment. Then I went to conduct a proper burial for my buddies. 

I still miss you, my friends… 

After a while I had a sudden urge to go to The Cube. What is The Cube? Well funny you should ask. The Cube is this weird…um…cube thing that sits on its side, on this small piece of pavement in the middle of an intersection. It's supposed to be modern art or some crap like that. Anyway that's where a couple of my other friends and I hang out. You know us normal people. 

As I was walking down the streets of Odaiba, I had this weird feeling as if something was following me. But every time I turned around I saw the same bush sitting about two yards from me. No I was not standing still. Now if I was the type of person that was paranoid…you know Daniel. I would think that the bush was following me. However since I'm not, and bushes cannot move by themselves or stalk people for that matter, I didn't think that. 

It didn't take me that long to arrive and there they were—my friends. They saw and waved to me, we said hi and all that other stuff. So I guess I should tell you what they look like…or at least their names. 

First, there's Soujiro. He's got blue hair done in these shibby spikes. Yes shibby is a word it's just…um not in the dictionary yet. Anyway he, at the time, was wearing a black T-shirt that said "do I look like a fucking people person to you?" and your usual black raver pants. 

Next to Soujiro stands the guy that is ALWAYS next to Soujiro, Akira. He's this cute little brown haired fem-boy. He always wears the usual fem-boy clothes and since you know what that looks like I don't gotta tell. 

Then there's Aki, the girl that could probably kick my ass. No wait, she can kick my ass. She's the type of girl that could eat a bear alive, take on alien invaders, or scare small children.

Those are my best friends, in this cliché. Well we hung out for a while just chillin' and talking, hanging with the other kids around there which I just don't feel like mentioning. It was your normal afternoon with society's 'rejects'. 

"So then I fuckin' stood up and fuckin' looked into this fuck's eyes and said 'you wanna fuckin' start somethin' with me!' and he ran away in tears, the little fuckin' wuss. But that was after I broke his fuckin' pansy nose into fine fuckin' powder." That was my friend Aki. Isn't she a sweetheart? 

"Wow man, remind me never to ask you out." I said after taking a long drag of my cigarette. She smiled at me. 

"Nah man, your cool. You give me weed." 

"And he's got a nice ass!" Akira piped in, breaking away from his boyfriend's mouth long enough not to take a breath but to compliment my ass. Boy is strange. 

Suddenly this guy came up to us. Dude he was so high. He had this weird look on his face as if he was looking at you but wasn't looking at you. He's the leader of our little gang. But anyway he blurted out. 

"Daisuke man, there's this green thing following you man." He giggled a little. "It's like green and leafy…yeah green and…DUDE!I think it's a bush!" He nodded, proud of himself. "Hey since when do bushes wear school uniforms? It's the man's doing. It's the man!" 

What? 

"First the man imprisons us in this bogus system, then he imprisons the bushes too. No one can escape, man! You should look out for yourself." He wanders away again. 

So I turned around to find out what the hell this guy is talking about and I see Ken holding two twigs with an abnormally large amount of leaves on them. He has a big smile on his face…you know that smile you give when you know you've been caught doing something. 

"Ken, what are you doing?" 

"Um…Botany class." 

"Botany class? Since when do we have botany class?"

"It's um…we take it next year!" 

"Then why are you taking it now?"

"…" Ken gave me this thought expression. So that you know he's trying to think up a lie dumb quick. "See I'm a genius! So I'm advanced! Yeah! That's it!" 

"Ken, there's no vegetation at The Cube." I said sweeping my hand in an arch, showing off that there was indeed nothing but a cube. "Just a cube. And some crackheads." 

"Dude, Daisuke, don't doubt the genius!" 

Insert sweatdrop here. 

*** 

For the rest of the day, those two kept doing the weirdest shit. It was driving me up the wall! Constant following and when I got tired of them just following I made them come with me. Aren't I a nice guy? That was a bad idea, now that there wasn't anything stealthily involved, they started the squealing, glomping, and constantly bickering, like hens in a chicken coop.

It was completely and utterly irritating. Every once in a while I would tell them to shut up and they'd become civilized again but then it start all over again. Yes, I knew they liked me. Yes, I knew they had this alpha male thing going on. And yes, it was pissing me the fuck off. 

So what did I do? Tell them to leave me alone? Try to make them understand my feelings in this? No, I left. 

And so night fell on my strange and miserable day and I went to bed to get some sleep. Or at least I tried to…

At three in the morning my phone rang and rang…and rang. So you know what I did, I threw something at it. I must say I have pretty good aim to hit the phone in the dark with my eyes closed. 

The phone fell off the base and hit the floor. I distinctly remember hearing a small voice from that corner of the room just calling my name over and over and over again until it drove me insane. So I made my way over to the phone and picked it up. 

"Why the hell are you calling me at three in the fucking morning?" I growled at him. So what? I'm cranky when I get up in the morning, everyone is. "You better be calling to tell that you've been hit by a car while some alien slime buckets from planet Zarcoff are trying to probe you." 

"Daisuke-kun!" Takeru chirped. Who the hell chirps at three in the morning?! "Get up."

"Why?"

"Just get up"

"I'm up."

"No you're not."

I Growl.

"I didn't tell you to growl I told you to get up." 

Fine, so I got up.

"Now go to the balcony."

"Unnnn." 

"Daisuke!" God his whinny little voice can be jarring.

"Okay!" So I go to the balcony and lo and behold I saw Takeru on the back lawn with a HUGE stereo system with, mind you, a microphone. A strobe light was hanging over his head and to this day I still can't figure out how he did that. He was dressed pretty good though. He had on khaki pants with a dark blue silk shirt, half unbuttoned. Wow! Takeru has muscles. 

I stared at him for a few minutes, my sleep muddle mind not putting it together until he says, "This is for you, Daisuke-kun" and blows me a kiss. Then it hits and I groan. 

__

Gods please no…

The music starts.

__

I'll be a good person, I swear, if you don't let this happen. 

And so he sings. 

__

I hate you… 

And the strobe lights go on and he sings, but he doesn't just sing any old song. No, he sings Spice Girls music. Gods, kill me now. 

__

Candle light and soul forever

A dream of you and me together

Say you believe it, say you believe it. 

Now, there's something I have to tell you about Takeru. He's a straight A student, and captain of the basketball team, and great at just about everything that could make you really popular in school. But he can't sing to save his little blond butt. But it wouldn't do him any good anyway cause I'm gonna kill him…slowly. 

So he sang, off key, to the Spice Girls' music. Every once in a while he'd crack…horribly. But there were certain things he'd say—

__

Cause tonight is the night when two become one 

—where'd he say things and give me a look that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, and not in the good way either. I swear he had winked at me when he said that one, I just gave him a funny look and flipped him off. 

__

I had a little love, now I'm back for more 

[wanna make love to ya, baby] 

Hold it! Don't you dare give me that look! We have NEVER—and will NEVER—have sex! I glared at him really hard. 

__

Are you as good as I remember, baby

Get it on, get it on

'Cause to night is the night, when two become one 

Why did he keep doing that? I swear he thinks we really did have sex or something. How real are those fantasies to him? 

I was given a moments peace when the musical interlude began. He didn't sing, so my ears were grateful, but he did dance. At least he's a good dancer. 

Then it stopped, the music just stopped like someone pulled the plug. And I was about ready to thank whoever this blessed soul was, when I started hearing carnival music. 

And there stood Ken, in all his kinky glory. He had on leather hot pants, which were tight around the crotch, which was huge. Dude! Ken's a tripod! No, that can't be…it's gotta be a sock. Til this day, I will forever swear it is a sock! But anyway, he was wearing a tight leather shirt. I could tell it was cold because I could see his nipples peeking at me. To top it off he had on fishnet stockings and thigh high six inch bitch boots…like he's not tall enough already……Wow.

__

You say it's been too long

Since you had some

How does he know that?…Anyway see the difference between Takeru and Ken was that Ken sang…good…very good. He has a really nice voice. Unfortunately he can't dance. He was doing the hustle…**_the hustle_**. Dude the hustle was from the seventies. _The seventies_. 

Just say I turn you on 

Like the fire that's burning inside

    This is when the hip thrusts come in…and he puts one of his fingers in his mouth and drags it seductively down his chest to his crotch. Wow, never knew Ken had it in him…but then again it's always the quiet ones. The always have those little secrets and such. 

    Like before, there were certain verses that stuck out to me. This was one of them. 
__    Me holdin' you down in my bed

He had the nerve to say that while wearing a hooker outfit complete with bitch boots. Me on the bottom. I think not! 

At that moment Jun chose to wake up to complete the humiliation. 

"What is going…" Jun started to say, but she caught the sight of Ken and just stared at him…bug eyed with shock. "…It's always the quiet ones." 

_

    But you know I can give it too you 
    I can't deny I do it right
_

She caught that line; then she blinked at Ken then turned and looked at me…and busted out laughing.

"Oh God…*snicker* I did not just hear that *gasps*…he's serenading you to *chokes* sex songs!" She continued laughing, clutching her stomach and making fun of the whole situation. She was no help what's so ever. 

In the meantime Takeru was glaring at Ken like he really, really didn't like him…Give me a break it's three o'clock in the morning. Then he ran off and came back after like five second or so and started to sing. Oh, look, he got the plug back in. Greeeaaat. 

And so I was bombarded by both songs, stupid cheesy sex lines coming at me from all sides and let's not forget Jun's laughter. I did catch on to something though, Ken wants to have wild monkey sex with me while Takeru wants to make sweet passionate love. God help them, I'm gonna kill them. 

This went on for a while until someone called the cops and they ran for it. Good for them! Of course they blew kisses before they left. Well Takeru blew kisses, Ken did this really lewd thing with his tongue. I suppose in some circles that _was_ a kiss.

And you know what was worse, I couldn't get those damn songs out of my fucking head! And Jun kept making fun of me. 

So now I have come to the end of my story. Do you understand why I want to kill them? Can you see why they've driven me to these homicidal lengths? Sure they're my friends. Sure they're cute. But they have really pissed me off and now they must die! 

Owari 

Onward to the sequel!

Author's notes: Yes Takeru is singing Spice Girls' Two become One(which doesn't belong to us, mind you. Nor Give it to you by Jordan Knight). It's not just you. Ken's outfit…*cough*…it's what Gackt wear in one of his videos. *coughs*…you know. 

Go here for the picture à http://community.webshots.com/photo/13467654/29692364UqcXyPlOOT

This is the prequel to Clueless, you know the story in the first chapter. The next, the sequel, will come when it comes. Only reason these aren't separated is cause we're lazy. 


End file.
